The Art of Afternoon Tea

By Johan, The Dapper Swede, Photos by Breanna Bartolucci

There are few rituals in life that so effortlessly combine elegance, indulgence, and pleasure as afternoon tea. I adore it, an appreciation lovingly passed down from my mother.

As a pre-teen, I would dress for tea in little blazers, tie and shirts starched and pressed with the kind of zeal usually reserved for royal uniforms. It may not sound like a conventional childhood, but I have always been an old – and many would say eccentric – soul. And quite gay, with a fondness for glamour that showed up early. My mother shared that love, and afternoon tea became our most cherished tradition. Together we sipped and nibbled our way through Stockholm, London, and Paris, convinced that eating everything in miniature made life more beautiful. And it did.

Since moving to the United States nearly thirty years ago, I have discovered the greatest misconception about afternoon tea: that it is about tea. The number of times I have heard one person suggest afternoon tea only to be met with the response, “I’m not much for tea,” is astonishing.

Let me set the record straight: afternoon tea is not about tea, it is about taking a break from life’s realities and spending an afternoon with people you enjoy.

Yes, drinking tea is traditional. But one may just as easily choose Champagne, coffee, sparkling water, lemonade, or whatever elixir best quenches one’s thirst for joy. Afternoon tea is equal parts hydration and indulgence.

Positioned delicately between lunch and dinner, it is not about sustenance. It is, instead, a meal devoted entirely to pleasure. If breakfast fuels ambition and dinner restores strength, afternoon tea nourishes the soul. It is a sanctioned pause in a world obsessed with productivity, a moment to sit, savor, and be gently spoiled.

When someone asks, “Would you like to go for afternoon tea?” what they are truly saying is:

“I enjoy your company and would like to spend an afternoon together!”
This sentiment feels particularly poignant today, when so much of life unfolds staring at screens. Afternoon tea is a refreshingly analog tradition, one that thrives on conversation, laughter, and the gentle clink of porcelain.

The ritual itself carries an elegant lineage. Popularized in the nineteenth century during the reign of Queen Victoria, afternoon tea began as a practical solution to an aristocratic inconvenience: the long hours between luncheon and a fashionably late dinner. Anna, Duchess of Bedford, famously requested a tray of tea and bread to stave off faintness. What began as a private indulgence soon evolved into a social institution embraced by the upper classes and, eventually, the wider world.

Today, one can still experience this theatrical refinement at establishments such as The Ritz London, where white-gloved service and glittering silver teapots remind us that hospitality can also be theater. Yet the true magic of afternoon tea lies not in chandeliers or five-star addresses. It lies in connection and enjoying the moment, and that can be created anywhere, including your own home.

Traditional afternoon tea unfolds in three acts,
each more charming than the last.

First Course: Savory Bites
Finger sandwiches are the quintessential opening note. Their elegance lies in the simplicity. Prepare them in advance, refrigerate overnight, and cut them neatly just before serving for edges as crisp as a bespoke lapel. My preferred trio includes cucumber, Coronation chicken, and smoked salmon with cream cheese, a diplomatic assortment with something for vegetarians and carnivores alike. Of course, tradition is merely a suggestion, not a requirement. Mini quiches, puff pastry feuilletés, or even tiny sausage rolls can lend a more relaxed, countryside charm.

Second Course: Scones
Scones are among the most forgiving baked goods, no kneading, no proofing, no drama. Serve them warm with clotted cream and fine preserves. Should clotted cream prove elusive, mascarpone or a whipped cream–mascarpone hybrid will perform admirably. I often substitute miniature croissants, which offer all the indulgence of scones but with a French twist. I bet the English would be horrified!

Third Course: Sweets
This is where whimsy reigns. Petite pastries, macarons, fruit tarts, or chocolate truffles, the only rule is that they must be small enough to justify having more than one. Variety is key: something citrusy, something fruity, and something decadently chocolate. Think of it as a curated gallery of sweetness.

Afternoon tea is as much about ambiance as it is about what is on the plate. A tablecloth and pressed linen napkins instantly elevate the occasion. Real porcelain is essential, though matching sets are optional, charm often lies in the delightful mismatching of cups collected over time. Flowers, even a few stems in a modest vase, create a sense of ceremony. And while it may sound dramatic, I firmly believe a tiered pastry stand is the architectural cornerstone of afternoon tea. Without it, one is merely snacking.

Silver flatware, whether sterling or silverplate, brings a glow that stainless steel simply cannot replicate. Add a cut crystal water glass, and perhaps — always, in my case — a Champagne coupe, flute, or tulip. Practicality has never been the driving force behind elegance.

While afternoon tea is steeped in tradition, it should never feel rigid. Serve what delights you. Tiny almond cakes from a family recipe, bakery quiches, or supermarket brownie bites can all coexist happily on a tiered stand. Refinement is about intention, not perfection.

Afternoon tea is, at its heart, a gentle rebellion. It is a mid-afternoon meal that defies urgency, productivity, and the tyranny of schedules. It feels decadent precisely because it is unnecessary.

You do not host afternoon tea because you must. You host it because you have love in your life and wish to share it.

In a world that moves too quickly, afternoon tea invites us to slow down, dress a little better than required, and transform an ordinary day into something memorable. And really, what could be more glamorous than that?